So, this kind of goes along with the previous post. At least, the direction I’m planning to take it does, we’ll see how it actually turns out. Because this is the direction I was originally planning on taking in that post, and that’s not quite what ended up happening, haha. But I don’t mind when that happens (which is good, because it happens a lot), because usually it means that I needed to write about whatever I did write about more. That’s why it’s called ramblings, because it can go in whatever direction it goes and that’s okay.
There’s a friend that I often mention in therapy, even though we rarely talk anymore. I recently sort-of got back in touch with this friend, and was telling my therapist about that last week. He asked me, if this friend could sit down and talk with you now, what would they tell you?
I thought about it for a bit.
I think…this friend would tell me to stop hiding in my apartment. To stop being so quiet and closed-off.
Thinking about it now, I would add to it a little, based on what I know of this friend:
That people want to get to know me. That I have something to contribute. That I’m a fun person and a good friend and people want to be my friends, and I’m not letting them. People want to spend time with me and get to know me, but I’m not letting them.
Just like I didn’t let this person get to know me or be my friend when we first met. Because I couldn’t comprehend the idea that they actually wanted to get to know me and be my friend.
There are probably people around me now that want to be friends with me just like that, and I won’t let them. Because for some reason, that idea that people want to get to know me and be friends with me, is still kind of foreign.
Guess it’s something I’ll just have to practice, hm? It’ll get easier. But it won’t get easier unless I try.